Last week, your kid asked you to look at their drawing while you were cooking dinner with the dreaded oven fan on, and you snapped. They left the kitchen, and then you sat on the floor and cried.
When did you become this snappy, frazzled human?
Girl, I understand. I have been there. Some days, I am still there.
My whole business is built around the idea of calm—how to be calm, how to harness calm, how to use calming images, how to create a daily life where calm is at the forefront. A few years into The Happy Apricot, I stepped back and looked at my own life. There was zero chill, as the kids would say. I wasn't filling my days with the design I wanted. I wasn't keeping a calm nighttime routine. I was snapping at my kids. I was too tired to do the things I loved, yet there seemed to be no real reason behind any of it.
Why?
I was at the local library getting my stack of books (yes, I have a problem, but at least checking out stacks of books doesn't hurt anyone!), and a book titled Mommy Burnout literally jumped off the shelf at me. Yes, it's bright yellow, and yes, the title made me giggle, but I started reading and I was HOOKED.
This. This is what's wrong with me. I'm burnt the heck out.
So I started reading. And I started unlearning. And I started making changes.
Fun fact: This was also the catalyst for the "Let's Fight Burnout" theme of last year's Desk Calendar.
If you're reading this thinking "Yes! Same!"—you, my dear friend, are probably a little burnt-out piece of toast too. Not just stressed. Burnt out.
In this post, I'm sharing the 5 signs of burnout (the ones you're probably ignoring) and what you can actually do about it.
Burnout vs. Stress: What's the Difference?
Stress is too much. Burnout is not enough—not enough energy, not enough motivation, not enough care left to give.
Stress makes you feel like you're drowning. Burnout makes you feel like you've already drowned and no one noticed.
(I'm hugging you from across the screen if that last point makes you as teary-eyed as it makes me.)
The difference? Stress is temporary and usually improves when the situation changes. Burnout is chronic and doesn't get better with a weekend off or a vacation. It requires a complete reset.
The 5 Signs of Burnout
Sign #1: Exhaustion That Sleep Doesn't Fix
You go to bed exhausted. You wake up exhausted. You drink coffee all day, and you're still exhausted.
This isn't "I need a good night's sleep" tired. This is "I could sleep for 1,000 years and still feel empty" tired.
Why this happens: Your body has been running on cortisol (stress hormone) for so long that your system is depleted. You're not just tired—you're burned through.
It's been years since my kids were babies. Do they wake up in the middle of the night? Sure, sometimes. But there's no reason I should be waking up SO TIRED. Until I realized burnout might be the culprit.
I wasn't releasing cortisol. I wasn't healing from the constant demands on me. I wasn't filling my cup, and I was running with my feet dragging on the ground because I'd run out of gas that long ago.
Sign #2: Cynicism and Detachment
You don't care anymore. And that scares you.
Books you used to love. TV shows that used to bring you joy. Projects at work that you used to feel passionate about. You're numb to it all.
Why this happens: Emotional detachment is a defense mechanism. Your brain is protecting you from more pain by shutting down your ability to feel.
Does this sound familiar? It sure was to me. I'd scroll on Instagram and feel nothing (except maybe increased agitation!). I'd go for a walk and miss everything around me. I'd be swimming in my new pool and just be thinking about what I needed to do next.
I wasn't present for any of the good stuff going on in my life. I was missing it all. My body was protecting me from additional pain or problems, but it was also blocking me from any joy.
Sign #3: Brain Fog and Reduced Performance
You guys, it's not just mom-brain. It's so much worse.
Do you feel like you forgot how to make full, complete sentences? Are you mid-thought and suddenly wondering when you lost your ability to formulate ideas? Are you making so many mistakes you're questioning your degree entirely?
Why this happens: Chronic stress affects cognitive function. Your prefrontal cortex (the part that handles focus, memory, and decision-making) literally doesn't work as well when you're burnt out.
This is one of the worst feelings of burnout in my opinion because it tends to happen in front of other people—at least in my case.
My family knows that if I say, "Hey, please put the leftovers in the garage," I mean the "refrigerator." And yes, this is funny. But also? It's horrifying. I'd like to think I'm a powerhouse for my family. The keeper of all things. And when I can't even remember a simple word like "refrigerator"—I mean, come on. What am I even good for?!
Sign #4: Physical Symptoms
Burnout isn't just mental—it's physical.
Do you find yourself getting more migraines? Has your stomach been upset? Do you have insane and constant tension in your shoulders? Are you getting sick more often? Are you sleeping too much or too little?
Your body is trying to tell you something. It's trying to say STOP.
Why this happens: Chronic stress floods your body with cortisol, which suppresses your immune system, causes inflammation, and keeps your body in constant "danger" mode.
Important note: If you're experiencing physical symptoms, please see a doctor to rule out other conditions. But if everything checks out medically? It might be burnout.
My physical burnout cues are my stomach and my shoulders. This is where I hold my stress—always has been. When I start having a lot of bathroom issues or going to bed with neck and shoulder pain, I know I need to look deeper into the why and address what's causing the burnout.
That's the thing about burnout—it's not a one-and-done fix. It's a constant rerouting of your stress-inducing routines and rewiring how you go about your everything. So it pops up. But if you know what the signs are, you can fix it.
Sign #5: Loss of Motivation and Purpose
You used to have goals. Dreams. Things you were excited about.
Now? You're just surviving. Getting through the day feels like an accomplishment. The things that used to light you up feel... pointless.
Why this happens: This is the final stage of burnout. When you've given everything and have nothing left, your sense of purpose erodes. You're depleted at every level.
IMPORTANT: If you're experiencing this sign along with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please reach out for help immediately. Call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or text 'HELLO' to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). You matter. This feeling isn't permanent, but you need support right now. It is a strength to ask for help, and you, my friend, are strong.
Ever since losing my cousin to suicide, I have become very aware of these feelings in both myself and others. If I feel someone might be dipping past stress and into despair, I reach out. If I feel myself thinking, "What is even the point of me being here?" I drop what I'm doing and do something immediate to pull me out of those thoughts.
Hugging my kids, my dog, or my husband is something that pulls me out of these thoughts.
Side note: From another book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, a 20-second hug can stop a cycle of stress and save you from the depths of burnout. Try it—it's almost like magic. (Also, this book is a fantastic read.)
Why Does Burnout Happen?
Burnout = Society's Expectations of Women
Not to be all "it's society's fault" here, but... kinda.
As women in this era, we were raised seeing women "do it all" and being expected to "do it all perfectly." No, we aren't 1950s housewives with heels and perfect curls, but we are expected to have a fulfilling career, raise our kids, keep the house afloat, and hey, maybe even do a little light volunteering. And hey, if you aren't fulfilled? Maybe start a side hustle. See? More work.
We are told—even subtly—that our worth is tied to our productivity. We can rest as soon as our baskets of laundry are folded, as soon as the kitchen is spotless, as soon as our inbox is all read.
No.
We rest now. We don't earn it. We deserve it because we are human—that is the only requirement for rest.
I created The Happy Apricot to meet people in their burnout and help them out of the depths of it. Sure, a line tracing activity is a tiny thing. But if it's the catalyst to turn your mindset around, to prioritize rest? Well then, it's not so tiny after all.
How to Start Recovering from Burnout
Step 1: Acknowledge It
Say it out loud: "I am burnt out."
Not stressed. Burnt out. This isn't weakness—it's awareness.
Step 2: Stop Trying to Push Through
Rest is not optional. You cannot caffeinate or think your way out of burnout. Your body is demanding that you stop. Listen to it.
Right now: Schedule rest into your day. (I'll wait.)
Step 3: Set ONE Boundary
You don't have to overhaul your whole life today. Just set one boundary. And this is something you tell others you will do. (I learned this from Dr. Becky.)
Examples:
- "I will no longer respond to emails after 6pm."
- "I will not apologize for taking my lunch break."
- "I will not say yes without taking a moment to check my calendar and think if I'll have the emotional battery for any event or outing."
Step 4: Add Micro-Moments of Calm
This one is my favorite because I have created tools to help you with this.
Line tracing from a simple sticker on your water bottle, from the calendar on your desk, or from the bookmark in your planner—these will all help you ground yourself and resist the lure of burnout.
You can also download the FREE 7-Day Calm Challenge and join me as I dive deeper into different calming practices!
Get Your Free 7-Day Calm Challenge →
Step 5: Get Support
This is another of my favorites because we do NOT have to do life alone. We do not have to suffer alone. We do not need to figure this all out on our own.
Take a moment to:
- Find a good therapist
- Ask your spouse to take a walk with you
- Make a list of the friends you need no social battery for—then get a monthly dinner on the calendar
I will say, after reading Mommy Burnout, this monthly dinner with friends was my favorite takeaway. It's been like free therapy but with fancy deviled eggs and fun drinks!
You're Not Broken, You're Burnt Out
Repeat this after me:
I am not broken. I am burnt out.
I am not broken. I am burnt out.
If you recognized yourself in these signs, I see you. You're not lazy. You're not failing. You're burnt out. And that's not a character flaw—it's a sign that you've been giving more than you have to give for way too long.
Recovery won't happen overnight. But it will happen. One boundary at a time. One moment of rest at a time. One tiny act of choosing yourself.
You deserve rest. Not someday. Right now.
Love you, lady.
Ready to Start?
Download the FREE 7-Day Calm Challenge and begin building your burnout recovery toolkit today.
Want daily reminders to rest? The 2026 CalmLines Desk Calendar features monthly anti-burnout actions. Preorder now through November 20.
Follow along on Instagram for daily calm reminders and real talk about rest culture.